The Best Policy

When you lie to someone, you are deceiving them into believing a version of reality that is not true. But the double-edged sword is the fact that you're blinding yourself a little each time you twist the truth.

Lying is almost always a power-play. You are twisting the nature of reality for the sake of your own conveniences, and like Karma, it will catch up to you, each lie another brick in the wall that is narcissism. And over time, your greatest virtue, whether you're cognizant of it or not, will be yourself. You have set your comfort as your own god, and you are willing to cheat someone else to help further that goal. And it's a skill you have honed -- perhaps you'd even consider yourself an adept.

And obviously this will make us neurotic. Imagine telling several lies throughout the day, to different people, and you're trying to spin a web so tight, that there's no way it could unravel. What mental effort! Perhaps telling the truth would be easier, and you'll be surprised at how forgiving people can be if you're honest and appropriately apologetic.

Oh, and the stress of moral dissonance! You know that lying is wrong, yet you do it anyway. perhaps you even tell yourself that it wasn't "all" wrong, or perhaps you think you had a "good" reason for lying. Perhaps... but you are a bit biased, aren't you? And over time we slowly we begin to believe our own lies, and the self-delusion continues.

Think about the compounded effect on your friends, family or even your significant other. All relationships built on a foundation of falsehood will one day it will all crash to the ground.



But what if you just broke the cycle right now? What if you pledged, to yourself, to be as authentic and honest as possible at all times? It will require mindfulness and an honest desire to be a better person, and it will change your entire life. I know because it was all true about me. Resolving to be as honest as possible has been one of the most life-changing things I've ever done. And I'm not perfect. Sometimes I catch myself lying (or about to lie) from sheer instinct, and sometimes, I need to reel in a statement with "But I'm not entirely sure, so don't quote me on it."

So yes, honesty really is the best policy.

Just Take A Look at Me Now

     It's important for my partner to be Self-Aware and Self-Realized. You might say to yourself, "Sure, those things sound good, I have got to be those things!"

 Are you? Maybe. Ask yourself these questions:

-What kind of things make me happy or sad? Why?
-What parts of me do I dislike? What can I do to deal with those things?
-What brings meaning and purpose into my life, and how am I pursuing it/them?
-What are my goals for life and what am I doing to help achieve those goals?
-What aspects of life do I want to explore?
-Who am I and what do I want to be?
-Can I make a difference in the world? What would that look like?

     If you struggled (which is okay), or if you took a long time on a question or two, try mapping out who you are and what you want out of life and go for it with all you have. I'm not saying I have everything figured out. I'm saying that I finally started, and I'm on the path, even though it took me far too long to initially realize these things.

     I've set the navigation for this journey that is my life, and I want to come alongside someone else and weave our hopes and dreams together. It's a beautiful thing for two people who truly care for each other to push each other to greater and greater heights of purpose and  meaning. And there is a beauty in knowing your place in the world to help alleviate suffering, and the important and fulfilling duty of distilling those desires and virtues into a child.

The Juicy Topic

     Okay, I'll come right out and say it: I've got a fairly high sex drive. Sure, there are days, I go without the pleasure of release, but like a Pavlovian-trained dog, it doesn't take much to make me salivate. In fact, I make myself "salivate" usually one to two times a day. And I could probably go a few more rounds in a day if I feel like it too. And while the thought of having as many sexual encounters as possible can seem fun or rewarding for me, I've kept my sexual escapades relatively low.

     In fact, I consider sex to be somewhat sacred. When you have sex, you're literally (and I'd argue figuratively) baring yourself to the other person, and showing them parts of you that only ~0.0001% of people you come in contact with have seen or will likely ever see (Unless, you like, have sex with EVERYONE you meet. In which case, how did you get here and why are you reading this?).

    In a way, sex is a way of "knowing" your partner in one of the most incredible, intimate ways out there. There's an energy to it like nothing else, and the experience must be shared to be truly consummated. This can even be seen in Biblical literature (Adam "knew" Eve, and she conceived a son.).

     So that's why I like to wait a bit more before diving-in, so to speak. And although, admittedly, my worse judgement would be to pounce on you from the first date, my better judgement tells me to understand the other person a bit more first. And how much more rewarding sex can be when you understand each other's vulnerabilities and weaknesses, yet you accept them as a complete being: mind, soul and body.

     And if you desire to experience a smorgasbord of human sexuality, more power to ya. You do you (and I can DEFINITELY appreciate the sentiment), but it's not for me, and I choose to accept the unique sufferings that come as a result of my decisions as I hope you will with your choices as well. Neither is technically "correct". Both have a unique set of pros and cons. Work them out for yourself, and if you find yourself like-minded, maybe hit me up. :)

Peace.